A letter to my teenage self

Dear younger me,

This fall, you’ll start high school. The good news is the worst of adolescence is over for you. There will be difficult days ahead but the lessons of loneliness you learned in junior high will reap great rewards. You will be stronger even though you’re still licking the wounds.

Right now your life is centered around a small group of friends. I know they’ve told you you’re a wallflower, that pink is not your color, that you’re socially awkward. They often laugh at you instead of with you. Your friends won’t always treat you this way. You’ve not met the best of them yet. You will have friendships so deep and true that you will believe your souls were knit together in heaven.

Don’t wait for the accidental order of a pink sweater before you wear the color. Don’t skip band your freshman year. Don’t be afraid of student life. Go to dances. Attend games. Practice talking to people. It won’t get any easier for a while. Do it anyway.

Your wariness of boys is a good thing. Stay skeptical and make them earn your trust. You won’t have as many boyfriends as your contemporaries but you’ll also miss out on broken hearts and bad decisions. It’s a good trade. Be nice to the boy who sits behind you in Chem II. He’s one of the good guys.

Academics are your salvation. You’re smart and swell with pride when you understand difficult concepts. You enjoy being singled out by your science teachers. Realize now that your intelligence is a gift you did nothing to earn. You’re proud in the worst way. Learn to see giftedness in people who have talents outside of academia. It will make you a better parent.

In several years you will see yourself in a brochure for the photographer who took your senior pictures. The ad will shock you. Your analytical brain will realize that you aren’t as ugly as you believe yourself to be. This will ignite an awakening in you. You’ll begin to step outside of yourself as an unbiased observer. Learn to do this now. You may always struggle to believe it, but you’re more beautiful than you realize.

I know that you look at your little sister with a strange mixture of envy and guilt. She’s the center of attention, the cute one, the one that requires so much of Mom’s attention. Go easy on her. Learn to love her seed beads and art projects. She has her own battles to fight and lies to unlearn. When you’re both married with children, you’ll be very proud of her. Start living like it now. It may make the next ten years easier.

When Mom asks for your help in the garden, shut up and do it. I know you feel like she doesn’t understand but honestly, you’re just lazy. She understands more than you realize. Be patient with her. One day you will deeply appreciate your differences.

Don’t overreact when Dad tells you no. He’s trying to protect you from evil that you don’t yet understand. I know that sounds patronizing. But one day you will snuggle an orphaned neighbor girl who would give anything to have a daddy like yours. Control your temper and be reasonable. You can’t yet understand the gift you’ve been given.

There is so much about the life ahead of you that is wonderful and beautiful. You will seek God and find him. You will make babies and learn to sacrifice. You will have a career. You will serve God and come to love people very different from you. There is a lifetime of adventure ahead and it is good.

One more thing about that boy who sits behind you in Chem II. Follow your heart with him. It will be one decision that you’ll never regret.

Love,

Your future self

This post celebrates the release of Emily’s new book Graceful for teen girls. My copy arrived today. I’ve already read her book for adults, Grace for the Good Girl, and it is excellent. You can watch the book trailer for Graceful below.