At the end of my days

By On September 12, 2012 · 11 Comments

“Southern Baptists are strict.” He said it in the hallway as I was discussing our recent move, our new life, my husband’s new position.

And then again I read it here, from a woman whose open heart and sincere words move me — even when we don’t always reach the same conclusions.

My heart breaks a little because of all the words that could be used describe my community of faith, strict is the one I hear the most. I can’t figure out what hurts more, that people characterize us as rigid or that all too often we have earned the title.

I want to pilot a mission to prove we’re not the killjoys that we are portrayed to be. But I’ve never been much of a socialite, let alone a partier. How exactly does a teetotaling introverted pastor’s wife convince the world we’re not all uptight box-checkers intent on condemning the world?

I know the answer — I’m asking the wrong question. Only a fool attempts to change the world’s opinions by being something they’re not. For good or ill, I hold some personal convictions that are not shared by all Christians. But my hope, my prayer, is that these convictions are overshadowed by something more.

I want to be known as a lover of God.

Because this life of faith is not about prohibition. It’s not about being a good girl for the sake of other’s opinions. It’s not really about the 10 Commandments. It’s about a God who loves and seeks us out because He is better than anything we can have or do. His law, 10 Commandments and all, reveal how desperately we need Him, how corrupt we are without Him. His sacrifice demonstrates His great love — love that will grow in us.

He said it once, that His people would be known by love, for Him and for one another.

I see ads for TV shows and clips from cable news satire. I feel on the outside of it all because the caricatures of Christians in the public sphere do not match what I see.

I see people who:

  • give so that children with cancer can have a fun week at a specially equipped camp.
  • provide meals, assistance, training and child care for women struggling to leave the sex industry.
  • sponsor children and write letters
  • open their homes to kids not their own
  • start maternity homes for girls raped and abused in the slums of Kenya
  • serve in small inconspicuous ways at home, at work, and in their churches
  • live in difficult neighborhoods to love people from a different land who’ve never heard of a God who is Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend

It’s a picture of a people who love open-handed and sacrifice with joy born of gratitude to a God who first loved them. Their lives speak to the best of Christendom, people known not by what they prohibit, but by what they do in His name.

At the end of my days, I don’t want to be remembered by my denominational affiliation, by a strict adherence to external rules, or a prudish and miserable lifestyle. I hope to be numbered with those who are lovers of God, lovers of people, and who smile at the days to come.

In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and glorify your father who is in heaven. — Jesus of Nazareth

Linking today with Emily.

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  • Holly

    I hope to be among those people, too, Eyvonne. May grace lead us home, friend. May grace lead us home.

  • http://jasonandkelliwoodford.blogspot.com/ kelli woodford

    Then they’ll know we are Christians by more than the t-shirt that we wear . . . or the way we point and stare. (to quote the timeless song) Love your heart here, Eyvonne.

  • http://www.katiworonka.com Kati Woronka

    I definitely appreciate this and agree wholeheartedly, but I struggle a bit with understanding how rules might actually fit into this. It’s hard to reconcile love with the “convictions” and “prohibitions” even when love is kept front and centre as you so well argue here. I feel I’ve gone to the other extreme of no rules, no guidelines, and want to learn how to welcome both in my life.

    • http://www.eyvonnesharp.com/ Eyvonne

      Kati,

      I never even thought of that angle. My life has been one of always trying to follow the rules and the futility of trying to be “good enough”. That is the default perspective from which I speak.

      Yours is one of the great questions of Christian faith. My favorite passage when considering these thoughts is Gal 5:22-23. Paul lists the fruits of the Spirit and then says, “Against such things there is no law.” I’ve always taken that to mean if I pursue love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control through Christ and by God’s spirit, then the law will be inconsequential because His Spirit will mete out the required changes in my life. It’s slow and painful work, and I progress and regress, but these characteristics are my plum line. When I am acting out of anything other than these motivations, I’m likely wrong even if I can’t find a specific “law” that prohibits my behavior. That happens all too often.

      This is how I’ve reconciled what I understand you to be saying. Hope it helps?

      • http://www.eyvonnesharp.com/ Eyvonne

        And, maybe inconsequential is too strong a word. Maybe I should have said secondary. The law has value, but Jesus himself talked of desiring mercy and not sacrifice.

      • http://www.katiworonka.com Kati Woronka

        Thanks for your thoughtful reply… I agree wholeheartedly with you. But there just seem to be so many exceptions, or on-the-surface-apparent exceptions in the church. For example, I know it’s important to say a kind word of encouragement, but sometimes I can’t find it in myself to do so verbally while maintaining the fruit-of-the-spirit in my heart. It seems like it would be better for my own spiritual health to just come out and say the critical thing I am thinking. But for the sake of the other person and for harmony in the church, I say the kind thing. I don’t know if that’s a good example… and probably it’s just a lifelong struggle that God enjoys putting us through as it grows us into better people :)

        • http://www.eyvonnesharp.com/ Eyvonne

          Knowing when to speak and when not to speak is one of the great challenges. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

  • http://nhwolfe.blogspot.com/ Deb

    Such wisdom. Thank you.

  • Elizabeth

    Your words walk me to a beautiful place. I want to know and be known as His. Letting Him do the shaping and forming, to mold me into more of a Lover of God and Lover of People. Your beautiful words give Hope. Love your heart here, friend. Love your heart

  • Behind The Smile

    So true, lets be known for loving God and each other shown by our grace and actions of love. Blessings.

  • Sharlord

    As a nurse I had a patient ask me if I was a Christian. YES, I smiled and answered. He said yeah I can tell by the cross you are wearing. I replied well I guess I’m not a very good one if that is the only way you can tell. Were my good works putting on my cross necklace?Then OMG was I wearing the right one? I mean I better not wear the one with Jesus on it because after all we all know He not still on the cross. Oh my so many rules to think about.