How to be a better person

How could I have known what this friendship would become? You and me, dropping our girls off at preschool all those years ago. I didn’t know you at all, not even your name. It was months before we spoke and only then because our girls wanted to play. They played. We talked.

For years that’s all it was, friendly conversation at school functions and a hello in the hallway.

And just like the gradual lengthening of winter days into Spring, we became friends. Over Sunday school classes, and gymnastics practice, and long-weekend sleepovers. Each conversation inched a little deeper.

And when it was time to move away, I knew. The person I would miss the most from home would be you.

Not long after that, we started to drive. Once a month we make time. Between soccer schedules and orchestra concerts, we create a small opening in the midst of the chaos. We point or cars toward one another and drive to the center of our two worlds.

These times are my sanctuary.

Once our words were reserved and careful, now they are reckless and full of abandon. There is no need to measure or filter or wordsmith. I know you and you know me and we love each other anyway.

We share the kinship of crazy joy and fear wrapped in a pastel bundle. We know the soothing ache of a well-fed babe. We’ve ridden estrogen soaked waves that ebb and swell and overflow and threaten to overtake. We have talked about it all.

We have shared mommy guilt and lamented as they grow. We’ve talked about childhoods and meeting Jesus and learning to be comfortable in our own skin. We have laughed about first dates and first kisses and first everythings. We have spurred one another on to love our men well. We have said,

“Carry on.”
“You’re doing a great job.”
“You’re a good mom.”
“Be patient with your husband.”
“Be grateful for all that God has given you.”
“I see beauty in your accomplishments.”
“You sound a little bit crazy.”

But most importantly, “I’ve seen God because I’ve known you.”

And isn’t that what friendships ought to be? A window into the soul through which we see God. And with every email, and every smile, and every tear, and every gallon of gas, and every mile driven we say, “You are valuable to me. I am a better person for having known you.”

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. — C. S. Lewis

Do you have this kind of friendship in your life? What can you do to cultivate more meaningful relationships?

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